I love this chaos.

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Our life is chaos. Seriously, it is. And I love it. Our pictures are blurry, our house is messy, my kids are usually sticky. 

Lately I've been learning to accept what works for us and to not feel ashamed of the things that help get us through hard days. I've been dealing with such mom guilt and anxiety ever since the girls were born, and I think that's something that almost every mom can relate to, especially in the age of Instagram. For example, I've always been embarrassed to post too much of the girls watching tv, or what food they're eating if it's not super healthy, or if they're sticky from head to toe. I guess I was afraid of judgement, to not have a perfect Instagram feed or make perfect decisions all the time, I don't even know. It sounds so silly but for so many of us, this guilt and pressure is REAL. 

It occurred to me kind of out of nowhere over the last few weeks (probably because I've been watching too much This Is Us, let's be real), that life is short and I really should not spend a single second fretting about what other's might think or say about my journey. My family and I are living a kind life, we are caring to those who are around us, and we share authenticity and genuine moments. That is what humanhood is about to me. Loving and being loved. 

I can't wait to watch these kiddos grow up and see who they are going to be, what they are going to love, the impact they're going to make. Being a mother is so dang fulfilling, even when it means racing through the grocery store with a full cart to check out before you have not 1 but 2 full blown meltdowns. Even when you watch Moana all the way through so that you can cook meals and tidy up uninterrupted. Even when you cook food for your kids all day and realize come 5pm you haven't had so much as a cracker all day long. 

Motherhood is pure fulfilment for me, and I feel so lucky. 

Sorry for the emotional posts these days, This Is Us is actually killing me!!!!!! I love it. It's given me so many realizations and given me a new appreciation for my family and my incredible husband. If you haven't watched it you simply have to!!!!!!! Beware, it will crack open your insides and let all of your emotions poor out every. single. time. 

I hope life is good for you, whoever you are! I hope you are proud of yourself and find fulfilment in the mundane, it truly is a game changer. 

Loving The Little Things

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Photography: Meagan Gerylo Photography // Home Decor: Little Love Home

There. I said it. They're toddlers. Insert ugly crying here. 

I can hardly believe that they aren't babies anymore. My mind is blown. They have attitudes. They understand and ask questions in their own little way. They're curious about everything. They want to walk on their own in stores, and to the convenience store down the street, and share so well with each other. Today Sybelle was crying because she wanted to play with the empty Starbucks cup that Annie was playing with. As Sybelle got more and more upset, Annie came over and gave her the cup and it was just the sweetest little gesture. 

I'm writing to remember. And because there is nothing sweeter than hearing about the innocent, pure things that little ones do for each other. Every day I am reminded that these little humans hold more grace and courage and purity than I could have ever imagined before I had my own tiny humans. It is something that I appreciate so much in the daily chaos of motherhood. 

They remind me that life is so exciting. Yesterday on our walk we saw a tractor. The tractor driver honked his horn and waved at us and it was so exciting! Then we saw a little puppy named Yoshi and that was so exciting! If I had been walking alone, I never would have payed a second thought to those things, but with them, it was pure bliss. Which reminds me why I called this blog "Growing A Little Love" in the first place. To remember that these little moments are where love lies. 

I want to remember these things forever. 

Annie & Sybelle: 11 Months!

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We are one month away from their first birthday and it feels so strange! I can't believe that this time last year I was sitting around all alone at home impatiently waiting for them to come! I was off work, super uncomfortable, and imagining what their little faces would look like. Now here we are, a family of 4, with these two sweet little bestie crawling all over the place. They truly are the sweetest little pair and I don't know how we got so lucky!

This month has been so incredibly busy, super super fun, and a little different! I had my first weekend away for a bachelorette weekend, the girls stayed with Kyle and did absolutely amazing! I definitely missed them, but enjoyed my time away so much. It's so sweet to see them with Kyle, and just enjoying their time together. He's been working a lot of long hours this month, so when they get to spend time with him alone, it just makes my heart so happy. 

We spent time at the lake a lot this month, and the girls got braver and braver in the water. At one point, Annie actually started crawling into the lake until she couldn't touch anymore, and wanted to keep going! She's such a little fishy girl. Belle was a little more nervous, but with time she started kicking her little feet more and more. 

Sybelle has been my more clingy baby this month, typically Annie is more of a momma's girl, while Belle usually will sit and play by herself for forever. This month Belle has been really attached, while Annie has been off exploring by herself. They tend to flip flop every couple months, so I guess Belle decided it was her turn for some extra momma love. 

They love to try to climb absolutely everything, love pulling themselves up on the furniture, and are starting to walk along the sides of things. They love their little push walker thing, but they haven't quite got the hang of it yet. They love to eat dog food and get into trouble together, like playing with a tub of vaseline or lotion. It truly is never a dull moment around here!

We were pretty late on their 9 month check up because by the time I booked their appointment, the pediatritian was on vacation for a month. Annie weighed in at 16.5lbs and Sybelle was 16lbs (always .5 pounds apart!) so they've really slimmed out since they started crawling. They're not on the growth chart for weight, but are in the 40th percentile for height, so our doctor isn't concerned about their weight, which was reassuring. They just moved up to size 4 diapers, still fit 6 month sleepers, and can wear anything from 6 month clothes to 12-18 month clothes. They feel so big to me, but whenever we see other kids the same age I realize how tiny they are. They feel super heavy when I'm carrying around both of them! 

They love to wave "hi", clap, tackle each other, laugh at dad, snuggle with mom play with the dogs,  watch the cats, and eat. They eat pretty much everything, their favourite food right now is blueberries, each have 4 top teeth, Annie has 2 bottom, and Belle has 3 bottom. They say "mama," (usually only when they're upset, or need more food...) "dada," and "da" for dog! They babble "babababa" all day long, and we're working on "nana" next. 

This has been such a rambly update but that' just how my brain works now after 11 months of this twin journey! I can't wait to celebrate their first birthday! Always feeling so grateful to have these baby girls in our lives. 

Thanks for reading, lovelies! 

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